The Perfectly Imperfect Me

It isn't easy having scars in this world. SERIOUSLY. No kidding. But it really depends on how you take it as an individual. My family members are always there to remind me that people are often just curious rather than judgmental but I am not entirely sure how true is that. Perhaps they are just trying to make me feel better.

I find it very difficult to go out and answer the same questions over and over and over and over, alright I should stop but you get the point right? I respect teachers who have the patience to answer the same questions they get from their students year after year.

Sometimes the questions and remarks I get are really silly. Or maybe I just find them funny because never in my life I would have thought that I would be in such a situation. I used to look normal you know. My sisters and I have this weird coping mechanism to deal with all these questions. We just burst out laughing whenever someone asks me, "Oh hey, what happened to your hands?". Don't ask me why. Certainly don't ask them why because they have no idea too. But we laugh and often get scolded by people because, "This is no laughing matter young ladies!". LOL.

So here is a list of remarks and questions I get whenever I go out. No exaggeration here. HONESTLY. Well maybe I did modify the way it was said because you know how we Malaysians really speak. These are just a few examples. It'll take ages to list down every questions that I have been asked before.

1. The most popular one - Oh dear Lord, you have such a pretty face, you don't deserve this at all. (ERR excuse me are you saying that only if you're pretty, you don't deserve to get into a fire accident and get third degree burn scars? Otherwise it is alright? *Roll eyes*)

2. What happened to you? Where? How? Were you a student there? Which year were you in? Was it in your room or bathroom or living room? (I don't see the relevance here? Since I have already answered the, 'how') Wait, Moscow you said? Which season was it over there at that time? (Again, why is this relevant, summer causes more fire and winter's too cold for any fire to occur? Really? :P)

3. You're a girl. It is going to be tough for you. (Ok I am not really a super feminist material type but God this remark usually really ANNOYS me. VERY MUCH. Excuse me, I am a girl and I don't think this is going to be tough because I really don't care if boys don't find me attractive because I am no longer a teenager. Yes I went through that phase A LONG TIME AGO).

4. Have you tried aloe vera? Have you tried, 'minyak biawak'? Have you tried skin grafting? Have you tried plastic surgery? Have you tried ayurvedic treatment? Have you tried Chinese medicines? Have you tried silicone gels? Have you tried laser? Have you tried getting treatment in Singapore? UK? Korea? India? (Well you see, my family and I did try many things. We didn't just sit around waiting for miracles to happen.)

5. You're lucky in a way because the person you are going to get married to will love you for who you are on the inside and not just for what is on the outside. (I still can't decide if I am irked by this statement or if I'm neutral towards it or if it is actually SWEET but it doesn't matter because I THINK the person in love with me right now feels that I am gorgeous. No this is not considered as blowing my own trumpet. :P)

6. Non verbal communication by means of STARING WITH HUGE EYES and sometimes pointing with index fingers. Yes I get stared at a lot. Initially after the accident, I used to think that there was something behind me, an alien maybe and that is why people are staring but now I know it is just ME. Apparently humans are very curious creatures. NOT JUDGMENTAL. According to my friends and family. I just pretend to believe them. Although now if they read this blog, they're going to know that I am pretending. OOPS.

7. This is my all time favourite and it happened ONLY ONCE. But this unique question makes me laugh even until now. I went to this clinic a few years back and was sitting in the waiting room. This very hyperactive boy, about 7 or 8 years old came up to me and very LOUDLY asked while pointing at my arms, 'EH YOU SPIDER-MAN AHHH?' His voice and tone actually made every single person in that waiting room to turn towards my direction and again STARE at my beautiful scars. I looked at him incredulously until his parents apologized and brought him away though really I was refraining myself from bursting into laughter. THAT BOY MADE MY DAY. No made my day EVERY SINGLE DAY since then. :P (In case you're wondering, I am so not SPIDER-MAN )

So yes, it is not easy to look even a little different nowadays. Please note that I usually answer all of those questions with very polite answers and a huge smile. So the ones in the brackets is just me talking to myself in my mind at that time. That is not weird. AT ALL.

I know I am not alone though. I know that there are so many people out there who have worse physical imperfections and they are fine with it because they know that God and their loved ones see them as BEAUTIFUL human beings. They know that they are PERFECT just the way they are.

~ Wear Your Scars With Pride! ~

That is me so-called wearing my scars with pride :P