Remember, YOU made it this far!

This post is about reminding myself that I made it this far when many people out there told me that I should let go. It is to remind you about how far you have came when you thought you couldn't. It is for us all to remember that sometimes life may seem so tough that you feel like giving up but you always get up after every fall because we are strong! 

I wouldn't say that I have had an easy life though many people might disagree. Yes, I have very supportive family members and that made my life much better. I have parents who never made me feel that I was lesser than anyone around the world. I do wonder at times if I truly deserve such a wonderful family. So why would I say life was tough? I mean who wouldn't say that life isn't easy? Except for motivational speakers who would say that life could be easy if you THINK that it is. That is true in someways though. 

At school I would say that I was a bright student because I was a fast learner and I loved studying, being a NERD and all (Yes I am very proud of the fact that I still am :P). I loved my teachers and I would like to think that they liked me too. So after completing SPM, I started with my A-levels and I thought that I would do great in it but I found it difficult. I couldn't grasp many things that were being taught by the lecturers and for some reason, I was also disinterested. So, as expected I did very badly in exams and I had to retake many papers during the next semester. I was told that it was going to be tough to pass because it isn't going to be easy to revise for all those previous papers together with the current ones. I had doubts on whether or not I would make it but I worked hard and made it. Well I do have regrets about not obtaining better grades but in the end, do grades even matter after all these years? 

Then I left to Russia to venture ahead in my journey to become a doctor and again, I heard so many negative remarks about how bad a place that is. 1) It used to be a communist country so they HATE foreigners. 2) During winter, you would not be able to survive the cold there because you definitely WOULD FREEZE TO DEATH. 3) You have always been so attached to your family so are you sure you would be able to cope with it? Moscow is so far away! 4) You are a vegetarian so are you sure you would be able to get enough nutrients over there? You can't even cook. I am not going to lie by saying that these remarks did not intimidate me at all. I was afraid really but I kept in my mind that experience is the best teacher in life. So, I thought to myself, "No matter what, I would learn as much as I could from this journey!" And after all that has happened there, I don't regret anything because whatever I have gone through during that part of my life, it made me a stronger person. If I had not gone to Russia, I wouldn't have known that I had the strength in me to endure all those obstacles that I had to face when I was there. 

And if you have read my previous blog, you would know that I was involved in a fire incident there and for a year I was on medical leave. At that time, I had countless doubts regarding what I was going to do with my life. 1) Should I continue my medical studies? 2) Should I just go back to Moscow? 3) Should I start over and just venture into something else? 4) Would I be able to live normally with these scars? 5) Am I ever going to get over the fact that I am never going to be as beautiful as those girls without any scars? 6) How on earth am I going to make it up to my family for making them worried sick when I was still hospitalized? Honestly, I had thousands of insecurities about myself and about my life at that time. That incident was really a life changing one for my family and I. In spite of all that happened, we still got through those hard times. We supported each other and again, my life was back on track. 

After that, life was never the same again. Throughout medical school, I know that people noticed me because of my scars and that wasn't easy. But I also knew that I had great lecturers and friends who appreciated me and I was more than thankful to have all of them. I learnt so much and gained so many new experiences which made me a wiser person (I HOPE! :P) and despite of all that has happened, I made it! With much help of course. GOD; FAMILY; FRIENDS; LECTURERS; PATIENTS and many random strangers who showed simple acts of kindness towards me whenever I needed it. 

So, my point is no matter what people say or whatever negativity that is shoved towards your way, remember that YOU CAN DO IT. Don't let obstacles run you down because you have come this far after all. You came this far not to just give it up but to go on until you have reached your destiny. I have always believed that the journey is more important than the goal. The journey matters because you learn so much along the way and it makes you realize how beautiful life could be if you allow yourself to appreciate it. Most importantly, learn from people's experience but never believe them completely until you yourself go through it because what people perceive may often differ from your own perception. 

So, my ranting ends here. Do ignore grammatical errors if at all possible! :P 

~ A hero is an ordinary individual who finds strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles! ~ Christopher Reeve 

That's me looking like a Frankenstein monster after I was barbecued :P 

This is me 6 years later, finally a medical graduate. Phew!